Animals that don't Exist

The Coiling Smoke

The coiling smoke, Escherichia coiling, is a little-known prokaryot that is found mainly in tobacco leaves. Due to its particular requirements regarding habitat, it has never been successfully cultivated as of yet, and the study of its life-cycle remains an arduous tasks.

Although the exact functioning of its metabolism are as of yet unknown, the coiling smoke has at least one impact on human society that can no longer be scientifically disputed: it makes cigarette smoke coil.

The study of cigarette smoke, and its physical properties, has been the subject of few studies, if we disregard those focused on its impact on health issue. Indeed, the physical aspects that make cigarette-smoke behave the way it does are very underrepresented in scientific literature, the most likely cause of which is that nobody really cares.

But, as history has taught us time and time again, the most interesting subjects are often those nobody cares about. It is with this spirit that Ai Shteru, of the Tokyo Institute for Who Knows? Maybe Someday Somebody Will Care (TIWK?MSSWC), has undertaken his study of cigarette-smoke.

After a number of tests on the exacts physical properties of cigarette-smoke, Dr. Shteru has found that, in the absence of E. coiling, cigarette smoke does not coil, whether it be the smoke released from the cigarette itself, or the one blown from the mouth of the smoker.

Whether this discovery will have any impact on the human understanding of physics remains yet to be seen. But before we ridicule this research as another abuse of scientific funding, let us not forget: Science is the pursuit of knowledge. Whether or not this knowledge will help humanity is the domain of politics. But until we know, we won't known whether knowing is worth it or not.