Animals that don't Exist

The Money Mole

The money mole, Talpa argentum, is a species of mole the greater public is mostly unaware of, but that is well known in financial circles. Not unlike its cousins, the money mole lives in burrows, and has claws specialized for digging. In appearance, it ressembles the other members of the Talpidae family, and, at first glance, there seems to be nothing special about it. However, unlike its relatives, the money mole does not dig through the earth, but through papers of value.

Be they contracts, checks, bills of any currency, bearer bonds or IOUs, the money mole is, for reasons as of yet unknown, attracted to money in paper form, and will dig through them and make its nest in the resulting burrows.

Most financial institutions are aware of the money mole, and the danger it can pose to their wealth, and do their possible to avoid the animals settling in their safes. Among bio-economists, it is believed that the financial crisis of '29 was caused by money moles destroying much of the value owned by certain banks, which, when found, caused a crash in the stock market.

As computers became widespread and the digital revolutio began, many banks were eager to join, not only because of efficiency, but also because they believed that keeping financial data on computers would allow them to avoid the money mole problem entirely. However, it turns out that evolution would not let the fight end that easy. Money moles simply started burrowing through servers and hard-disk containing financial data.

They have undergone remarkable morpholigical changes in the past forty years, which still continue today, to adapt to the new realities of the financial world. Their claws became sturdier, accompanied by a reduction in body size, to allow them to thrive in their new habitat. Experts and financiers believe that the economic crash of 2008-09 was due to money moles destroying financial data, and thus making the value of investments disappear.

Although money moles are today almost universally regarded as a pest, they were considered differently in ancient societies. Indeed, it was popular belief that money moles were the guardians of human society, making sure that no one person or organization would accumulate an overwhelming amount of money, because this would inevitably attract the animals, which would then reduce their fortune, thus preserving a modicum of financial equilibrium between the members of a community.