Updates no more

vendredi 6 mai 2016


Some time ago, there was a lazy bastard who wanted to be famous. He had seen quite a few other lazy bastards get famous, and so he tought, why not me? So the lazy bastard got to work, which was quite an experience for him.
He tried a lot of different things, but in the end, nothing worked out, and he was still not famous, and still a lazy bastard, although maybe a bit less so. So, as any lazy bastard would, he dropped the idea of getting famous, and returned to his old life of being just another lazy bastard. And all he kept of those strange times was a blog.

I've been keeping this thing alive (more or less) for about two years now, and even though there weren't a lot of you who read it, it still made me happy, so thanks a bunch for that!
But life goes on and all that, and I'm finding it harder and harder to keep a regular update schedule, 'cause I got more and more other shit going on. So instead of watching as the quality and length of my posts slips further and further down, I'll call it quits. I'll leave the site up for now, and I might post some stuff from time to time, but no promises.

Thanks to all you gals and guys who read my stuff!!!


mercredi 4 mai 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

After Donald Trump lost the primaries in early 2016, the U.S. elections went ahead as they always have: two parties that are basically the sides of one coin trying to hype up their differences to give people the illusion of choice. Regardless of the winner, the 'war on terror' went on as it had before, rampant capitalism remained the economical model of choice, some token efforts were made to stop climate change (but as we now know, they where nowhere near enough), and poor people kept on getting fucked in the ass by rich folks who told them that it was for their own good.
Of course, things would probably have been worse if Trump had been president. But when you present people who didn't have a real choice for decades with something drastically different, they're gonna be interested. Even if it is drastically worse.

lundi 2 mai 2016

mercredi 27 avril 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

As was widely reported in recent newstories, the U.S. army has destroyed several hundred million dollars of Daesh funds with their favorite method of conflict resolution, namely bombing the shit out of it. However, the destruction of U.S. currency is illegal under U.S. law, and, as was verified after the bombings, ISIS had a lot of their cash-reserves in actual dollar-bills. As soon as this became public knowledge, several prosecutors in the U.S. filed charges against the army. Within weeks, the U.S. was aflame with debate over the physical destruction of U.S. currency held by "enemy organisations".
The actual case is pending at the supreme court as of now, but Daesh has already prepared for a favourable outcome, equipping both their vehicles and their fighters with dollar-suits. As one of their leaders put it: "If they are taking this all the way to the supreme court when it's done by their army, you can be sure that they'll sue anybody else who does it."

vendredi 22 avril 2016


The year was 1999, and somehow we all knew there wasn't going to be another one quite like it for at least a thousand years. I had gotten into an accident a couple days ago, 'cause I was going too fast, and might have fallen asleep at the wheel. So my little red corvette was in the shop, which sucked. I loved that car.
And to make things worse, the shock of the accident had left me with a high fever, and I spent two days being completely delirious, pretending to be married to my living room. All in all, it was a rather strange experience.
Anyway, I had to go out tonight for a session of dance, music, sex, romance with a couple friends. So I rented a car, some shitty automatic pile of garbage. But it got the job done, and I met up with my pals outside the disco two hours later. They were already in party mood. John didn't stop saying that there had to be something in the water, and the way he acted, you had to believe him. The dude was high as fuck.
The owner was in a good mood that night, and gave us a couple drinks for free, which was a nice gesture, but meant I had to grab a taxi to get home. The lady cab driver asked me where to, and it took me a while to answer. “New York!” I said after a few seconds.
“New York?”, she asked, bemused.
“Yeah girl. All the critics love U over there. Sounds like the place to be.”
“That's gonna be a long drive...”
“Not to worry, darling. I'll find us something to do with our time. Did I tell you that I'm an international lover?”

mercredi 20 avril 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

In early 2016, US congress passed a bill that allowed relatives of the victimes of the 9/11 attacks to sue Saudi-Arabia. This, of course, put a strain on US-Saudi relationships, but it was nothing that a couple oil deals couldn't smooth over. It did, however, open the door to a whole new category of lawsuits.
Since Saudi-Arabia could be held, at least in part, responsible for the 9/11 attacks, this meant that other countries, too, could be held responsible for terrorist acts that were committed by its citizens, or planned on its soil. And it wasn't long before french citizens launched a lawsuit against Belgium.
The belgians thought that they, too, should be awarded some form of compensation, and sued their own government. After that, all hell broke loose.
Governments started suing each other, people sued the families of both those responsible for attacks, and those present at the attack but who got away unhurt, because they could have taken the place of their loved ones, and might have avoided doing so by "treachery or deceit", as was written in one filing.
Of course, not wanting to get left behind, Daesh, Al-Quaeda and others started suing too, mainly on the ground that lax security had permitted their members to become criminals and live in infamy, and also get sued a lot, something for which they wanted compensation from the governments responsible. It did not take long for wars to turn into legal battles. And once the lawyers took over, things really started to get ugly.

lundi 18 avril 2016

vendredi 15 avril 2016


It's amazing how you sometimes see the right things at the right time. The other day, I was walking through the grey mass of concrete that is downtown. The sky was overcast, and a few raindrops timidly made the journey from the clouds overhead down to earth. It was one of those days were the dreariness of modern life hits you full face, the clouds and the buildings merging into one big monotonous blob. Even the violent proof of life that real rain would have given the scene was denied. And with each step I took, the realization that we were being stripped, slowly but surely, of anything real, of anything tangible that could be found in life, sunk in a little bit further. And just before the depression set in for real, I saw it.
Up in the corner of one of the buildings sprouting from a clogged-up rain gutter, was a bright yellow flower. Because no matter how much you try to hide it, and no matter how much you try to make people forget about it, the beauty of life will never vanish.

mercredi 13 avril 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

In early 2016, Jan Böhmermann, a german comedian, took it up on himself to demonstrate the difference between satire and vulgar insults by giving an example of the latter, reciting a poem he had written about turkish president Erdogan. The turkish president did not appreciate the act, and wanted to press criminal charges. After a few weeks of debate and internet memes, Angela Merkel caved, and allowed Erdogan to prosecute the comedian under an old "Lèse-majesté" law. And as one, the heads of state of other European countries cried outrage.
"It cannot be", said David Cameron, "that in a modern, western democracy, comics are prosecuted for insulting the turkish president, when everybody that made fun of me never even got a fine!" French president François Hollande went even further, pointing out that "after the tragic events a year ago regarding Charlie Hebdo, it should be clear to anybody that satire is dangerous, and should only be used to mock enemies of the state. The fact that such a powerful and deadly weapon has been directed at the president of an allied country is an affront, and the fact that when its him, they press charges, but when its me, they just laugh, is even worse. #JeSuisErdogan"
As events unfolded, more and more people in high offices complained that they, too, wanted to press charges against a couple of people who had made fun of them, and soon changes in the law followed to make this possible. When asked about his opinion on the matter, one of the prosecuted comedians had this to say:
"It is with great joy that I have been following the recent developments in Europe regarding satire. We have tried to educate the general public, but also our elected officials, on the concept of irony and sarcasm for years. To see now that they have not only grasped the gist of it, but are actively applying it in government, fills me with pride. Either that, or they really are a bunch of freaking morons."
He was later sentenced to ten years of solitary confinment.

lundi 11 avril 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"Spring is when you start to remember that office work sucks."

    - John Lennon

vendredi 8 avril 2016

Treasure Hunt

The forest was waking up. Spring had come, and wildflowers vied for a spot in the sunlight with the new spruces of bush and tree. They had to be fast, because in only a few weeks, abundant foliage will cover the ground in shadows. But of course, I wasn't here for the flowers. Somehow, I never am.
There was treasure in the ground in these parts, or so they said. Looking through the mush of dead leaves and decomposing wood, pushing aside the undergrowth with inconsiderate force, I kept on searching for the gold.
Not real gold of course. I was looking for the metaphorical kind. Which, not being subject to market fluctuations, always seemed the safer investment to me.

mercredi 6 avril 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

The big story this week is, of course, the Panama Papers. More than eleven million documents showing how the rich and powerful (or, to be precise, up to now, mostly the rich and powerful from non-western countries) have hidden their assets in offshore companies to avoid taxes, sanctions, and simply to distance themselves from shady businesses. The problem, however, is of course that, although shady, dishonest, and, if you're feeling patriotic, disloyal, most of those actions where still more or less legal. But the politicians of the west where taking action fast.
While still ahead, big speeches were made, new laws were enacted, and tax reform swept through the western world like a storm. Regimes which were (publicly) implicated in the leak were condemned, new sanctions where implemented, and the metaphorical rug rose a few inches. Because after all, the best way to avoid being caught is to make the rules yourself.

lundi 4 avril 2016

vendredi 1 avril 2016


There ain't nothing quite like it. Soft sunshine and a cool breeze. Blue skies and white clouds. Sandy beaches with big waves. It's amazing how big the little things can get if you let them. The tiniest detail turns into the crux of the whole story, and suddenly everything falls into place around it. The world's crazy like that, sometimes.
Mike wasn't really the philosophical type, but right now he felt like thinking about this kind of stuff. It could help you sort things out. Or maybe it was just one of those times where you needed to put the important stuff on the backburner, and let it simmer for a while. See how the flavour would change. The important thing was to take it off the flame again before it burned.

mercredi 30 mars 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

In 2016, the UK realized they were loosing the war on terror as they found that kids as young as 4 where helping the extremists, inventing new forms of concealed explosives, known as "cucumber bombs", and designing plans for a "terrorist house".
Not afraid to taking action, the UK home secretary decided to reinforce extremism detection in schools, especially with younger children. The "No line left behind" act was passed, which put a heavy emphasis on the surveillance of pupils. Suspicious activities included misspelling words, drawing unrecognizable shapes that could be interpreted as some form or another of IED, or coloring outside the lines. But the results of the program shocked even those that put it in place.
It soon became clear that, having indulged in the above named suspicious behavior, a vast majority of britains youth was clearly on their way to blow up an airport, or other public and populated place of their choosing. Indeed, it seemed as if the whole populace of the country still in compulsory education was waiting for the chance to plunge the world into chaos. In response, the british government decided to change their school system.
Instead of compulsory education, british children are now subject to compulsory incarceration. The whole population aged 4 to 18 are put into prisons, where they are taught not to blow shit up, and trained educators try to get them to repent for their "original sin". The ministry of public education has recently anounced that the program was a huge success, with only a handful of potential criminals acutally managing to kill people once they got out, and the USA as well as Japan have announced that, following said success, they will implement similar policies.
A group of hardcore hippies keeps maintaining that putting kids in prison is not the right solution, but like every time before now, nobody gives a shit about those pot-smoking wackos.

lundi 28 mars 2016

Citation's that weren't Made

"The bad thing about going to sleep, is that sooner or later, you'll have to wake up."

    - Dalai-Lama

vendredi 25 mars 2016

Summer Snow

Johnny boy was walking down the street, snot dropping off his nose. Spring was in the air, but so was winter, lingering around with nothing better to do. The mixture of pollen and cold had prevented Johnny from taking a breath through his nose for the last week, and he was getting sick of it. While everybody else lazed around in the warm sunshine, admiring the bright colors, he spent most of his time inside, trying to find the right combination of air-purifiers and indoor scents to get his truffle working properly again. He went about it as meticoulously as any scientist, but even after all these years, he hadn't found anything that worked. He had started to seriously consider the possibility that he was being sabotaged by the tissue industry. Right now, though, he had set out to resupply on said paper-squares, his mistrust of their creators forgotten for the moment.
He was making his way back a short while later, arms laden with kleenex, when it came to him. Like all brilliant insights, it started with a simple question mark. He looked at it hanging there, and wondered to what question it might belong. And when he found out, his lips split into a big smile. Of course, the answer was there all along. It might not be the most ethical solution, and it certainly wasn't legal. Then again, if you had to go up against saboteurs and industrial spies, no point insisting on the high road. And besides, it had a nice ring to it. Snow in summer.

mercredi 23 mars 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

Much like the political processes of most countries, I'm sick, so no update today.
Unlike most countries' political processes, I should be back on track by friday.

vendredi 18 mars 2016


John was sitting in front of the screen, his eyes two blurry red dots. His fingers moved sluggishly over the keyboard in search of the right sequence to type in. His eyelids flickered slightly as he read line after line of code, trying to spot his mistakes. A half-empty bottle of beer was losing the last of its bubbles next to his computer.
It had taken him a long time to get where he was. But he had started to think it might just be worth it. Sure, there were still a couple of points that needed fine-tuning. Constants to be adjusted, formulas to be overhauled, segfaults to be avoided. But on the whole, it seemed to work. He almost couldn't believe it. Conceptually sound. Never had two words sounded so beautiful. John smiled to himself. Soon, he thought, soon, he would let the world know about what he could do. Then it hit him. What about sleep?

mercredi 16 mars 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

In 2016, the FBI was on a roll. Not content to take Apple and WhatsApp to court over encryption, although most tech experts agreed that it was a rather stupid idea, they also felt that school were, most definitely, a dangerous place for "freedom" (how exactly they define that word is unknown as of yet, seemingly varying from PR-release to PR-release). Indeed, the bureau feared that schools might become hotbeds of "terrorism" (same as "freedom"). Luckily for the american people, they came up with a solution.
Students (and teachers) expressing strong political opinions, criticising western governments or values, doubting capitalism, or defying current social norms, were "at risk", and should be reported to the relevant authorities.
Wether it was because of the flashy presidential campaign, or because after 9/11, americans had gained the reflex of nodding their head as soon as somebody used the word "terrorism" as a reason to do something, the FBI's new plan was put into place without much opposition. However, things did not turn out quite as expected.
Teenagers who were growing tired of swatting welcomed the new challenge, and, in the first school year after the implementation of their plan, the FBI received over a hundred thousand reports of abnormal behavior by students. As it turned out, most of those were false-flag operations by students against students, and such a strain on ressources that it seemd the FBI would be paralyzed if it did not suspend the program.
The bureau, however, did not back down, and decided that, instead of time-consuming investigations into the validity of accusations, it would simply consider that people who were reported to them had to have done something, and gave everybody a preventive jail sentence of at least six months.
Ten years later, the population of the U.S.A. shrunk from 300 to 100 million, mainly due to mass emigration. Of the remaining people, 10% are in the FBI, and 30% are in jail. But hey, no major terrorist attacks! (probably...)

lundi 14 mars 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"How come I'm always awake in my dreams, although I spend my days dreaming of going to sleep?"

    - Platon

vendredi 11 mars 2016

Seafood surprise

John was smiling to himself as the water ran down his body. Nothing quite matched the feeling of a warm shower after a sweaty workout. He didn't particularly care for the macho-banter of his shower-mates, but it was a small price to pay for the slice of heaven he was now enjoying.
Stepping out from under the water was disappointing as always, and the smell of manly sweat hit him full force as he stepped into the locker room. A tangled mess of after-shave and hormone-laden bodily secretions that made him think of the results he had gotten when he decided to mix together all the ingredients of his chemistry kit as a kid. Nothing good could come of it.
He pulled on his boxers, his shirt and his pants, and sat down to take care of his socks. Then it happened. He straightened up and looked around. Was he going crazy, or did something in here really smell like boiled crab?

mercredi 9 mars 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

Election results in numerous countries in 2015 and 2016 have made it clear that most people where sick and tired of the way the political process operated. This frustration benefitted mostly the hard-line underdog parties, mainly because they did not have a chance yet to fuck things up. However, in most cases, once given this chance in the following years, they did not do any better than their predecessors. In light of this development, many countries opted for a split in their political system.
On the one hand, they kept the already-present parties, and elections, with all their accompanying media-circus, continued as usual. However, the elected officials held no more power whatsoever. Election would be held for entertainment purposes only, and have no real influence on what concrete legislative and executive measures would be passed. These measures would instead be decided by a panel of experts in the concerned fields, made up of a random draw of academics and professionals.
At first, the results where promising. While professional politicians kept throwing around buzzwords that didn't make much sense, the expert panels could spend their time thinking of solutions instead of popular appeal. However, it did not take long for the selection process, as well as the discussions of the panels, to start suffering from massive corruption. And after a few years, it seems that we were back where we started: a couple of people making a big fuss on the screen, while the real decisions where made in the background, and in the interest of person or persons unknown.

lundi 7 mars 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"By doing what you need to do today, you're robbing tomorrow of its purpose."

    - On Procrastination, by Bilbo Baggins

vendredi 4 mars 2016

Lawrence the rabbit

Lawrence wasn't a rabbit like the others. He was one of the big ones. Two meters in length, with front teeth longer than a human head, he was a fine specimen. But being tall and strong isn't what life is all about in the world of lagomorpha. And there was one thing about Lawrence that had made him an oddity since birth. He could only leap straight.
While his fellows were zigzagging all over the place, Lawrence would make a bee-line to where he was going. And that didn't go down well with the others. Outcast, ridiculed, heckled, he would often sit all alone on the edge of the prairie, wallowing in his misery.
One day, as he was just minding his own business as usual, the other rabbits made fun of him once more. “Lawrence, Lawrence, straight as an arrow. Can't make a turn, no matter how narrow!”, they would chant at him. But this time, he didn't just listen to them in silence.
“You're all so stupid!”, he yelled back. “Wherever we go, I always get there first. And also, I'm bigger than you. You're all just jealous, you idiots!” And then he ran away, straight over the prairie, as fast as he could. The other rabbits didn't chase him, because they knew they couldn't catch up.
As Lawrence finally couldn't run anymore, he lay down on the dry grass, his body heaving under his strained breathing. Just as he thought he might as well take a nap, he heard a wheezy voice from behind.
“Lawrence, Lawrence, Lawrence.”, the voice said, and he realized that it belonged to a hare so old, her fur had turned white. Her eyes were milky, but her gaze remained steady as she kept speaking. “It's true that you're big, and that the others can't catch up with you if you run straight. But the world is round anyway, so even if you always keep going straight, you'll end up in the same place again. And if you don't make any detours wherever you go, you'll miss all the fun.”
“You stupid old hare”, said Lawrence. “So you waited for me here just so you too could make fun of me?”
“No”, said the hare. “I came here to tell you something important. I hoped you would notice on your own, but since that doesn't seem to be the case, I'll just have to tell you myself.”
“Tell me what?”, said Lawrence. “What important thing could you know about me, anyway?”
“Lawrence,”, said the hare, “remember this well. Zigzags are just a lot of different straight lines put end to end.”

mercredi 2 mars 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

I aplogize to those of you who like t
I aplogize to those of you who like their routine, but today's post is gonna be a little different than usual. Today, I do have to rant a bit.
You see, when I started this section of the blog, I thought it'd be fun to kind of take stuff over the top. Making the whole political landscape a bit more ridicoulous, having some fun with it and all that, instead of serious analysis or preachy op-ed pieces about whom should do what. After all, it's better to laugh about it than to cry, as they say. But here's the thing:
Politics, and I mean like, the real ones, have become so ridicoulous since I've strated this thing, that I find it harder each week to top the kind of craziness that goes on in the real world. Donald Trump is on his way to the presidency, thanks to a campaign consisting mainly of offensive remarks and flat out lies. France is in a perpetual state of emergency, making it a de-facto totalitarian police-state. People who commit war crimes get Nobel peace prizes. Coalitions drop bombs in the name of security. And although stuff just keeps on getting worse, the only thing we do is more of the same, in the hope that, at one point, it'll turn from making things worse to making things better. Seriously, you can't make that stuff up. And that's my problem.
So please, in consideration of those of us who try to come up with imaginative, crazy alternatives to the real world, utopian fantasies or dystopian nightmares, please try to make real world politics a bit more boring again. A bit more normal. Cause otherwise, I might just end up being a regular news reporter.
heir routine, but today's post is gonna be a little different than usual. Today, I do have to rant a bit.
You see, when I started this section of the blog, I thought it'd be fun to kind of take stuff over the top. Making the whole political landscape a bit more ridicoulous, having some fun with it and all that, instead of serious analysis or preachy op-ed pieces about whom should do what. After all, it's better to laugh about it than to cry, as they say. But here's the thing:
Politics, and I mean like, the real ones, have become so ridicoulous since I've strated this thing, that I find it harder each week to top the kind of craziness that goes on in the real world. Donald Trump is on his way to the presidency, thanks to a campaign consisting mainly of offensive remarks and flat out lies. France is in a perpetual state of emergency, making it a de-facto totalitarian police-state. People who commit war crimes get Nobel peace prizes. Coalitions drop bombs in the name of security. And although stuff just keeps on getting worse, the only thing we do is more of the same, in the hope that, at one point, it'll turn from making things worse to making things better. Seriously, you can't make that stuff up. And that's my problem.
So please, in consideration of those of us who try to come up with imaginative, crazy alternatives to the real world, utopian fantasies or dystopian nightmares, please try to make real world politics a bit more boring again. A bit more normal. Cause otherwise, I might just end up being a regular news reporter.

lundi 29 février 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"It's all fun and games until somebody's elected president."

    - Mitt Romney, former US presidential candidate

vendredi 26 février 2016

Early-morning tension

I had had a terrible day. Chased from one place to the next, attacked by vicious animals and roaming stormtroopers, I had to fight my way through an overgrown forest with my two companions. It took us over twenty-four hours to finally get out of this mess.
We met up with a friend outside, and then we went our seperate ways. But alltough the worst seemed to be over, a nervous tension lingered in the air, crisping the muscles and kicking the brain into overdrive. I reached into my pocket and got out a skin, wanting to roll myself a cig, when it happened. The guy had been following me from before, some beat-cop with nothing better to do. He took my skin out of my hands, with a kind of “what-have-we-here” look in his eyes. I just knew he tought he could make an easy bust, probably find some weed on me, maybe more if he was lucky. But he wasn't.
I told him it wasn't for a joint, that I rolled my own cigarettes, and would he please hand it back. My jaw muscles clenched and my whole body was one big tight-wound spring, ready to let loose at the slightest touch. The guy just looked at me, a bemused smile on his lips. Before I knew it, my hand was around his arm, and I forced him against a nearby wall. I was barely touching him, but I had to use all my strength to keep myself from trying to tear him apart. “Do you really wanna do this?”, I whispered in his ear.
It seems that at that point, he realised that it would be a bad idea to mess with me in my current state. He looked like a child caught being naughty by its parents as he disentangled himself from me. I walked back out into the street and rolled my smoke. I lit up while looking at the grey early-morning sky. This wasn't gonna be one of my better days.

mercredi 24 février 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

On 23.02.2016, the European Court of Human Rights issued a press release in which it condemned Italy for its role in the abduction, and subsequent torture, of Hassan Mustafa Osama Nasr, also known as Abu Omar. Of course, the Court was well aware that, although Italy may have aided and abetted the crime, the real culprits were the CIA, and the US government to whom this institution belongs. Furthermore, given the large (and irrefutable) body of evidence pointing to the fact that this incident is not an isolated case, but part of a larger programm that authorizes a systemic violation of basic human rights by the agency, the Court held that, until such practices are halted, all contracting states were to halt all military and judicial cooperation with the US government, effective immediatly.
Indeed, the Court believed that, in light of the events surrounding mr. Omar's abduction, and other evidence, it had become clear that any and all military and judicial cooperation with the United States of America contained a very real, and very high, risk of leading, directly or indirectly, to a violation of human rights for the subject of said military or "judicial" intervention, and as such was contrary to the European Convention on Human Rights, and, in the case of military action, to the Geneva Convention. And after all, what good are human rights if nobody gives a shit?

lundi 22 février 2016

vendredi 19 février 2016


The silence is oppressive. It is heavy. It envelops you like cold molten lead, stifling your reflexes, dimming your movements. As if by divine providence, its existence becomes paramount, and each gesture is executed with utmost care, so as not to break its holy being. As you loose yourself in this transcendent state, it becomes second nature. Your thoughts become more organized, your fingers type gently on the keyboard. As if in meditation, your whole self seems to fall into a new state of being, the world around you slipping away. And only once this unconscious reverence of silence has reached its peak, do you start to forget all about where it came from.
Until you swear out loud.

mercredi 17 février 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

Allthough no one was expecting it, it was in the late 10s that the human space age found its second wind, and the foundations of space-colonisation were created. And it was none other than China that kicked it all off.
Not content with creating new islands in the sea, China decided to apply the same principal to create "islands" in space. Since flying up all the materials needed to make a space station was prohibitively expensive, the chinese sent out just two rockts, both laden with a few pieces of specfific machinery, as well as robots. The robots would then aggregate the space trash around them, much like boats would dredge up sand, to lay the foundations of what was to become the first chinese space colony.
Of course, several other countries complained that the space trash belonged to everybody, and that China had no right to dispose of it at its leisure. But it soon turned out that China's recycling of old satellites and rocket parts was making the orbit a much safer place to work, and it wasn't long before other countries joined the trend.
Since then, construction of space stations and human settlments has improved by leaps and bounds, and has become all the rage in OECD countries. And, after hacing cleaned up the trash, man is once again looking toward the stars.

lundi 15 février 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"In this world, there are a lot of good people, and a few assholes. You can easily pick out the assholes: They're the ones talking loudly on the podium."

    The Dailai-Lama

vendredi 12 février 2016


The winds are still rough, but the rain has stopped. The clouds shift uneasily, ready to be parted, while the sun does some push-ups to prepare for its grand entrance. The ground is still wet, the leaves still dropping, all of them waiting for the warm light to finally make them dry again. And just as you put on your coat, thinking that it'll take a while still, the sky opens.

mercredi 10 février 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

As a new refugee crisis is unfolding in Syria, German chancellor Angela Merkel is blaming the Russians and their air-strikes. In a rare moment of insight, the leaders of the western coalition army realized that there was a connection between dropping bombs on a country, and the people of that country trying to flee. This caused them to admit that, maybe, not only Russian bombs, but American ones and French ones too, could have that effect. Which would mean that the larger refugee crisis that has been happening over the past two years might just be their own doing.
Once this realization hit home, the leaders of those countries manned up, and, ready to take responsability, decided that each of the members of the western coalition army would tak in refugees in numbers proportional to their military involvment in Syria and elsewhere. Given that this decision was highly unpopular with some segments of their (voter-)population, but it being too late now to backpedal after their big announcement, these same countries quickly reduced their military actions abroad, so as to minimize the number of refugees they had to take in. And as the world as a whole realized that it was a lot less fun to play war when you had to take responsibility for the people on both sides that were affected by it, peace started to spread.

lundi 8 février 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"It's better to have loved and lost it, than to have gotten married."

    - Fraternity proverb

vendredi 5 février 2016

Here we go Again

There it is again. A slight trembling in my fingers. A sensation of lightness in my tummy, which could be exiting if it wasn't so queasy. My brain is blank, and yet working at full speed. It seems as if my whole being is running at ten-thousand rpms, just waiting to shift into gear.
Last check. Chocolate. Water bottle. Pen and paper. Shuffle it around a bit to make it more tangible. And just for the sake of doing something. Hands nervously fumbling with my pencil. I look up as the sound I was waiting for finally finds my ears. And we're off!
Oh, god, I hope I get a passing grade!

mercredi 3 février 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

As the frist quarter of the XXIst century neared its end, elections in the U.S.A. became more and more contested, be it municipal, state or nationwide. As a result, more often than not, the only way left to determine the winner was by coin toss.
As this trend showed no clear sign of stopping, it was soon decided that elections would be abolished all together. Instead, every person who could pay a fee (based on the average campaign costs of the last ten people to have successfully run for the desired office) would be allowed to participate in a coin-toss competition to see who could get the most heads on twenty tosses, and the winner would automatically be sworn in (in case of a draw, there was a sudden-death rule).
As this system was first introduced, civil liberties unions were outraged, and protested heavily. But after the first few "elections" were over, everyone quickly realised that the results were not that much different from before. In fact, given the increase in diversity in "elected" officials, which suddenly reflected the demographic make-up of the U.S., one could even argue that the system worked even better than before. And, due to the entry fees being collected by the concerned municipalities, as well as state and national governments, instead of being wasted on ridicoulously overblown campaigns, the U.S. budget situation took a turn for the better. In fact, the new system was so successfull that it wasn't long before other countries started to follow suit, and by the end of the twenty-first century, most nations decided on their leaders by some form of lottery.
Of course, on occasion, this could result in unqualified people getting the top jobs in government. But as we all know, this had always been the case. And now, at least people were free to concentrate on other things instead of following the election ("Coin-toss night" was still the most watched T.V.-event in the world, but it only took up one evening, instead of over a year), thanks to which we managed to handle the situation a lot better than before.

lundi 1 février 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"Today's a good day to die. But tomorrow wouldn't be so bad either..."

   - John McClane

vendredi 29 janvier 2016


The sun is shining bright outside, and the earth seems to steam as the translucent rays of light beat upon it. Flowers sprout, and birds sing. The ice and snow recede into the shadows. I look out the window, wondering how much of it will still be alive next year. Nature woke up early this time around, so it might not be able to hold on until the end. I open up another bottle, because I haven't got anything better to do.
Actually, I have a lot of better things to do. Goals to achieve, dreams to realize, duties to fulfill. But those don't count. These days, they never really do. Not as long as I've got time. And even though the day always seems to fall short, the nights are long.

mercredi 27 janvier 2016

Politics that didn't Happen

As the twenty-first century progressed, data-collection was all the rage. Through social networks and the IoT, humans collected all the data they could, all the time, as their long-forgotten romance with probabilities and statistics found a second wind. The passion of this mid-life love-affair was such that, by 2020, more money was invested in digital storage than any other commodity. Of course, all that data was not collected just to look at it.
From credit ratings to citizen scores to threat levels to the likelyhood of you buying a new flatscreen TV, every aspect of human life was suddenly influenced one way or another by big data. Law enforcement especially was in love with the new technology, which could finally absolve it of any responsability in the decision-making process. But it seems the romance was as short-lived as it was intense.
In 2023, Alfred Marx, form the Max Planck Institute for Data-Mining (which was a real thing by then), invented an algorithm that used publicly available data to detect large-scale fraud and/or tax-evasion. In a master stroke, it seems he managed to include the algorithm in law-enforcement data-mining software through government-mandated backdoors. And, since the police was now entirely dependent on data-analysis for any kind of investigation, they were forced to go after more and more rich criminals. And given the proprietory nature of the software, nobody could look at the source code to change it back. This, of course, had dire consequences for the data industry.
In less than six months after the first arrest, privacy protection was the main topic among politicians, and less than two years later, laws were passed that allowed only the most rudimentary form of data collection, until, once again, the easiest way to get rid of investigations was to be rich. Because traditions should not be forgotten so easily.

lundi 25 janvier 2016

Citations that weren't Made

"If we've got more than enough time today, let's wait until tomorrow!"

    - Unknown


We're back!

Fridays is now flash fiction instead of "Animals that don't Exist", the rest is the same as always!

Tell your friends! ;)