Late

The cold is on holiday, and the holidays are anything but. The weather is warm despite the season, and the heating makes it feel as if my home is a tropical island. Even outside, trees start budding, birds start tweeting, and here and there the occasional disoriented insect awakens prematurely from its yearly rest.

Despite everything they told us, winter takes its sweet time coming.

Animals that don't Exist

The Wine Rabbit

The wine rabbit, Oryctolagus cuniculus vino, is a sub-species of the common rabbit, and did not originally exist in the wild. It was first created through selective breeding in France, during the late fifteen-hundreds.

At the time, rabbit stewed in wine had become an absolute delicacy, and cooks were experimenting with a number of variations on cooking methods for this much-prized dish. Jean de la Rouille was one of them, and he started breeding his rabbits himself, and giving them only wine to drink until they reached adulthood, so that the taste would permeate the rabbit's flesh.

At first, most of the rabbits did not survive until adulthood, or when they did, where not able to assume their reproductive functions, due to the effects of the wine. But after a few generations, natural selection had come to the rescue, allowing only those rabbits with excellent livers as well as an overall tolerance to alcohol to survive and reproduce.

The rabbits made a sensation in Paris, and soon the whole of France was breeding them, and exporting them all over Europe. Of course, this massive wine rabbit population would lead to a few animals escaping here and there, but at the time no one took particular note of this. A few years later, however, the implications of wild wine rabbits became clear.

At the time they started reproducing in the wild, the wine rabbits had acquired a taste for wine that would drive them to steal bottle from cellars, and gnaw at wooden casks until they could drink the content. Bordeaux and Bourgogne were soon overran by the creatures, and they were declared a pest by King Louis XII after one of them had managed to infiltrate the royal cellars and drink the finest cask of the King.

Today, wine rabbits still exist in certain regions in France, and continue to be considered a delicacy, although they can no longer be bred in captivity (in the late twentieth century, they had been declared a protected species). Only the wealthy can afford to buy the few rabbits that can be shot each year. The rest of us will have to make due with its less tender cousin.

Animals that don't Exist

The Swiss Parasite

The swiss parasite, Parasitus helvetica, is one of the more elusive members of the central-European fauna. First mentions of its existence date back to the earliest creation of the Confoederatio Helvetica, but reports contradict on the origin and physical characteristics of this mysterious species.

Believed at first to be an invasive species, scientists soon discovered that the swiss parasite was endemic to the region. Despite large numbers of scientific papers on the subject, the majority of swiss still believe that the swiss parasite has origins outside of their national borders.

Campaigns to eradicate the swiss parasite have often been used by politicians to gain popular approval, and even today, the problematic seems to dominate swiss politics. However, due to the enormous confusion on its origins, appearance, or behavior, this often ends in unproductive debates about personal believes, instead of informative scientific discussions. We shall clear up some of these misunderstandings today.

The swiss parasite is, as mentioned, a species endemic to the country. Also contrary to popular belief, the swiss parasite is often not a scrawny, evasive beast, but rather an opulent individual living in plain sight. Although the less successful members of the species might live in precarious situation at times, natural selection has, over the years, placed the swiss parasite at the apex of the country's ecosystem, where he can suck and siphon out the life-force of a large number of preys at once.

The swiss parasite makes a show of defending his territory fiercely, not seeming to tolerate any intruders. But behind this purist exterior, he often lets other species enter his lair, to have fresh prey at his disposition. It is only once he has sucked the intruders dry that he chases them out in earnest.

Freedom

Is an empty road

Animals that don't Exist

The Deathly Raven

The deathly raven, Corvus mors, is as much a creature of legend as it is the most fascinating bird in the biological world. Numerous are the associations made between the raven and death, or the mystique and macabre in general. Writers such as Edgar Alan Poe or Jean de la Fontaine have always been fascinated by the animal, dedicating poems to it, or giving it prominent roles in their stories. But few, if not none, were aware that their fascination was not with the common raven, Corvus corax, but with its close cousin, the deathly raven.

For reasons that are as of yet unknown, the deathly raven has the ability to sense imminent doom and desolation. The common raven may be attracted by the smell of corpses, and, due to its highly developed cognitive abilities, may have learned which human behaviors antecede such feasts (a gathering of large crowds, for example), but theirs is a knowledge that follows logic, and which we can understand, as we are ourselves logical beings. Not so with the deathly raven.

The deathly raven has the ability to sense impending doom and despair, even when there is no physical evidence to suggest it. This, more than the minor morphological differences between them, distinguishes him from the other members of the Corvus genus. And this, too, was the behavior that so fascinated artists and philosophers that had a penchant for the macabre, such as Poe. And it is also what makes them easy to spot.

Ravens are, for the most part, communal animals that live in groups. Whenever one of them finds an abundant food source, he will call his murder, and soon the birds will be everywhere, cawing and making their presence known. The deathly raven, however, is a solitary animal.

It has been mostly on its own. A raven would appear, mistaken, as most would at first glance, for a regular raven. Then, an hour later, a day, sometimes even a week, something tragic will happen. During all this time, the deathly raven will silently stalk those concerned, as if observing them. Then, once whatever tragic event he was foretelling happened, he would leave, as if he just wanted to verify something. That is usually when his cousins crowd the scene, trying to get a meal out of whatever tragedy happened. The deathly raven, however, has never been spotted eating.

There is wide debate among biologists as to the cause of the deathly raven's particular behavior, but conventional science seems to have no hold on this strange creature. This has led to various myths associated with the deathly raven, and, per extension, to his cousins. Some people say the deathly raven does not need to eat, because he feeds on misery, which is why he is always present when a tragedy will happen. Others say he is but a scout for the murder, leaving to inform his friends as soon as carrion is to be found. Others still are convinced that he is a messenger of God, come to warn the righteous of impending doom.

What the truth is we do not know. There is little to be found about the deathly raven in literature, or at least, little that indicates that the author is aware of the difference between the deathly and the common raven. Some dispute its existence even today. Others, however, are convinced that secrecy is an integral part of its way of life, and that the reason why nothing has been written about the deathly raven is because the simple mention of him will attract the kind of tragic doom his presence usually foretells.

Animals that don't Exist

The Mine Bird

The mine bird, Serinus canaria mei, is a close relative to the domestic canary, and is estimated to split off from his cousin less than two hundred years ago. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to come across them in abandoned mines, and sometimes even natural caves.

Descendants of escaped canaries that the miners would take with them, they had to adapt rapidly to survive in their harsh new environment, and this has affected some of their phenological traits in a shocking fashion.

Their feathers have turned completely white, their brightness no longer able to serve as an indicator of fitness in the dark mines. Even flight has become almost useless in the narrow shafts, and with an almost total absence of predators. Mine birds also have significantly smaller bodies than regular canaries, which is probably due to the lack of food, and the constantly warm air which makes thermo-regulation much easier than in a changing environment. Their song, having become their only means of communication, has evolved into astonishingly complex arrangements, and recent studies suggest that it may have a much more varied role than in domestic canaries, where it serves mainly as a mating tool.

How many of these changes are purely phenetic, and how much are of genetic origin, remains to be determined, and scientists are in the process of analyzing the birds' genome and comparing it to that of household canaries. What we do know, however, is that mine birds that are raised in a lab with sufficient food and light are bigger and brighter than those found in the wild.

Winter is Coming

The gray clouds are blotting out the sun once more as the leaves fall off the trees. Like naked bums they stand there with their empty branches, dying their yearly death. I feel like that would be nice.

Close your eyes and go to sleep, and let the cold and the snow and the dreary, dredgy months pass by until the sun is warm again. Until the days are long again.

The cold seeps into my room through the thin windows, through the crack under my door. The room fills with smells sweet and foul, fresh air being too cold to consider.

The world becomes dark and cold. People huddle together for warmth and feel more lonely than before. Drink up your whiskey to feel warm, if even for only a minute.

Winter is Coming