Animals that don't Exist

The Swiss Parasite

The swiss parasite, Parasitus helvetica, is one of the more elusive members of the central-European fauna. First mentions of its existence date back to the earliest creation of the Confoederatio Helvetica, but reports contradict on the origin and physical characteristics of this mysterious species.

Believed at first to be an invasive species, scientists soon discovered that the swiss parasite was endemic to the region. Despite large numbers of scientific papers on the subject, the majority of swiss still believe that the swiss parasite has origins outside of their national borders.

Campaigns to eradicate the swiss parasite have often been used by politicians to gain popular approval, and even today, the problematic seems to dominate swiss politics. However, due to the enormous confusion on its origins, appearance, or behavior, this often ends in unproductive debates about personal believes, instead of informative scientific discussions. We shall clear up some of these misunderstandings today.

The swiss parasite is, as mentioned, a species endemic to the country. Also contrary to popular belief, the swiss parasite is often not a scrawny, evasive beast, but rather an opulent individual living in plain sight. Although the less successful members of the species might live in precarious situation at times, natural selection has, over the years, placed the swiss parasite at the apex of the country's ecosystem, where he can suck and siphon out the life-force of a large number of preys at once.

The swiss parasite makes a show of defending his territory fiercely, not seeming to tolerate any intruders. But behind this purist exterior, he often lets other species enter his lair, to have fresh prey at his disposition. It is only once he has sucked the intruders dry that he chases them out in earnest.