Letter from the Northern Lands

15.07.XXXX

My Love

As I sit in our train, riding towards the far north, the sun setting over the lonely fields, I think of you. It has torn my heart to leave you behind, knowing not when I shall forsake the cold wilderness of the harsh lands that await me, so I can feel your gentle touch once more. It pains me to think of you alone, sitting by the fire in the house we once shared. I hope that my letters will give you some comfort, and let you rest assured that my love for you remains unquestioned.

I know your friends will talk, and say that I am but a foolish boy, who prefers adventures over the comfort of love. They will tell you to forget about me, to leave me to my mad musings. They will tell you to move on, and look for someone who will value your company as he should. Yet I do, my Love. I do.

But I cannot remain next to you while the north doth call. I cannot stay by the warmth of our hearth, craving dreams without fighting for them. For such a man would not be worthy of you, my Love.

So I have left, and fly over the rails that point toward the never-setting sun. And when I come back, my Love, I shall be a man that can stand by your side his head held high.

W.

 

 

The wondrous evolution of the mysterious Box-fish

Part 4 : Easy does it

BMW is currently conducting research on the boxfish. As you can guess, BMW doesn't really care much about the origin of this genus. Even though they should. No, the reason why BMW is doing research on the boxfish is its aerodynamic properties.

Indeed, despite its bulky form, the boxfish is extremely aerodynamic. Living mostly in turbulent coastal waters, its strange form allows it to take advantage of the unpredictable currents, instead of getting swept away. So the reason why the boxfish does have this strange shape is the simplest of all : fish need to move well in water.

After almost an hour of painstaking research, spent almost entirely without even a cigarette break, the result was strangely anti-climatic. But I guess it just goes to show that no matter how strange something may seem at first glance, once you get to know where it comes from, it'll all make sense.

And so we conclude the boxfish arc. Hope you liked it. From now on we start with a new story, "Letters from the Northern Lands". The first letter will be published tomorrow, and from then on it will update every sunday and thursday.

I bought a hat some time ago. It's a pretty neat hat. It kind of makes me look like Humphrey Boggart or Robin Hood, depending on how I want to use it. And it's really comfortable. With it, I feel like I'm a real artist.

Like Bob Dylan or Donovan, it gives me that bohemian charm. Free as the clouds, my friend. When I wear my scarf and my jacket, and with my guitar on my back, I look like a real street musician. It's so cool ! But there's still much work to do.

I need to learn that flip-motion to put on the hat, where you kinda roll it around your hand, or something. But the shape of the hat makes it hard to do. I need to train. Not everybody can wear a hat.

There is something about being a hat-guy that changes you. You identify with your hat. You become the hat, the hat becomes you. Because it is on your head, one of the first parts of the body people look at, because it has an impact on the face, which is the visual paradigm we recognize the easiest, it defines you.

We hat guys are a queer ol' bunch. We are dominated by the hat, because it is above us, yet we do not reject it. For we seek the powers it grants us. When we see another hat-bearer, we nod in acknowledgment of the suffering, and the rewards, that we share.

The wonderous evolution of the mysterious Box-Fish

Part 3 : Oddballs

 

 

The family Ostraciidae, to wich the boxfish belongs, is part of the order Tetraodontiformes. The name comes from the latin tetra, meaning four, odous, meaning tooth, and forma, meaning form, because these fish have four tooth-like bones in their "beak". The phylogenetic relations of the Tetraodontiformes (meaning, how are they all related, and who came first, etc.) are still debated to this day. However, it is common to find rather strange forms in this order.

The ocean sunfish (Mola mola) is probably one of the most extreme examples of this. Other members of the order include the pufferfish, the filefish and the triggerfish. Most of these families are found near coral reefs. This could explain their high morphological plasticity, since coral fish are know for bright colors and particular morphology, which may not always be streamlined, since they do not often swim in open water.

In addition to their peculiar appearance, most of the families of this order are incapable of lateral flexion, and so, unlike the majority of fish, can move only with the help of their flippers. This makes their movements slow, but it is very precise.

The wide variety of unconventional features found in Tetraodontiformes can explain why the box-fish could acquire such a strange shape, since it seems its order does have a predisposition for morphological mutations. But what did drive this change ?

Did the corals where the boxfish appeared have square caves ? Was there a reproductive advantage to being square ? Was it attractive to the opposite sex ? Did it make it harder for predators to identify them as prey, giving them extra protection ? Did it make it inconspicuous to its own prey ? I didn't know yet, but was determined to find out the truth.

 

I was on my way home, riding my bike. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car braking, then a crash. I turned around, and saw that a black car and a silver car had crashed into each other. I kept on going home.

I was on my way home after a long day. I was minding my own business, riding my bike. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car braking timidly, like a halting series of squeals. Then came a big crash. I turned around, and saw that a black car had tried to get on the road. And a silver car hadn't seen him, so they crashed into each other. I kept on going home, since nobody seemed hurt.

I was on my way home after a long day. I had gotten up at seven, just to laze around for hours. I was minding my own business, riding my bike. At least I got to enjoy one of the first day of sunlight outside. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car braking timidly, like a halting series of squeals. The sound was foreign to my ears, and at first I couldn't recognize it for what it was. Then came a big crash. I knew instinctively that there had been an accident, but something felt strange. I turned around, and saw that a black car had tried to get on the road. And a silver car hadn't seen him, so they crashed into each other. The driver of the silver car made a rude hand-gesture to the other driver. I kept on going home, since nobody seemed hurt. Then it hit me : neither of the two cars had honked at the other.

I was on my way home after a long day. I hadn't gotten much done, though. I had gotten up at seven, just to laze around for hours. Kinda wasteful, but at least I felt like the day wasn't spent without reason. I was minding my own business, riding my bike. Well, not my bike, but the one I use when I'm here. At least I got to enjoy one of the first day of sunlight outside. The weather had been nice for the first time this year, and the warm air felt good. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car braking timidly, like a halting series of squeals. I didn't know where it was coming from. The sound was foreign to my ears, and at first I couldn't recognize it for what it was. As if it had somehow been taken out of context. Then came a big crash. You could feel the impact through the noise. I knew instinctively that there had been an accident, but something felt strange. As if something was out of place. I turned around, and saw that a black car had tried to get on the road. And a silver car hadn't seen him, so they crashed into each other. Luckily, neither of them was going very fast. The driver of the silver car made a rude hand-gesture to the other driver. The other one gesticulated wildly in direction of the point of contact. I kept on going home, since nobody seemed hurt. Still, something didn't seem right. Then it hit me : neither of the two cars had honked at the other.

So there I was, riding home, not thinking about much. I had gotten up at seven just to spend my day lazing around, but I didn't care. It was the first nice weather of the year, and the sun was warm. I pedaled along, quite content with life. The jenever and the cannabis might have had something to do with that.

Anyway, there I was, on the cycle lane, minding my own business, when suddenly I heard this strange squealing sound from behind. It sounded a bit like in "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", when the shoe is put into the "dip". Before I could try to figure it out, there came a loud crash. I turned around, and couldn't believe my eyes.

A black sedan had just gone on the road, but the silver audi speeding along the center lane hadn't seen him. My eyes opened wide as the second car jumped off the first after hitting the edge of the hood, the sideways impact giving it a spinning motion. I flew over me, turning, a giant dolphin arching through the air, the debris sprinkling along like drops of water. There was total silence, and the seconds stretched into minutes as the human-made monster soared above, eclipsing the bright blue sky with its massive figure.

Sound came back as it hit a tree full force and upside-down, the hood bending inward under the shock. I could see the driver being propelled forward, his safety-belt the only thing that stopped him from crashing through the broken window. The rear of the car dropped to the ground.Then there was silence again.

All the other cars had stopped. People on foot and bike alike looked at the beached whale, his belly open, his blood spilling out. One second went by. Then another. I sat back on my bike, and was on my way before people even realized they could move again. Not like I give a crap.

The wonderous evolution of the mysterious Box-Fish

Part 2 : A little bit of family history

 

The yellow boxfish (Ostracion cubicus) lives in the Pacific and Indian ocean. It is part of the Genus Ostracion, which is composed of eight species of box- and trunkfish, all so-called because of their rectangular shape.

This genus, in turn, is part of the family ostraciidae, which accounts for all matter of square fish, called trunkfish, boxfish, cowfish or cofferfish, probably in accordance to which square object was most common in the cultures that first discovered these fishes.

In addition to the squareness of it's members (often more pronounced in the adults than in younger fish), the genus ostraciidae is known for it's hard, bony scales, as well as for the neurotoxins most of it's members are capable of secreting. This, in addition to the hard scales, could explain why the boxfish is still here today : not many predators would be able to devour such an ill-tasting, and probably rather crunchy meal.

So, it seems that the boxfish has taken some well thought-out precautions against extinction. Solid armor and poison always help you stay alive (if you don't believe me, just watch "Game of Thrones"). But even though we know why the boxfish managed to stay, there is one thing it does not explain : how did it come to exist in the first place ?

Oh man !

Ohmanohmanohman ! Oh buddy ! You wouldn't believe ! 

So let's talk about something else.

I've been keeping at it this time around, but I still don't really know which direction this blog should be taking. Should it be funny ? Serious ? A "this-is-my-life" kind of blog, or a "I-wish-this-were-my-life" kind of blog ? A "it-ain't-that-bad" kind of blog, or a "you're-doing-it-all-wrong-let-me-tell-you" kind of blog ?

You're all savvy internet experts, viewers of many blogs, and able critics of the written word, I'm sure (I have a lot of faith in you guys. You seem nice). I'd hate to dissapoint you when you're all expecting me to say something clever, make some witty remark, or simply analyze politics in an accurate yet humane manner. That's quite a bit of pressure you guys are putting on me. I mean come on ! I'm only one man ! Give me a break, god dammit !

As you can see, it isn't easy to write a blog. It takes a special kind of person to resist the urge to please, and stay true to your convictions, when you know the whole world is watching. Or, well, could be watching. Theoretically speaking. That's quite a bit of power and responsability. So, how should I handle it ?

I don't really know. If you've got any ideas, please tell me. I'll try to hold on until then.